Always getting back to the same old conclusion.
At least, I am alive for real.
At least I do feel, deeply. At least I know the worth of things and appreciate it.
At least I stay true to my soul.
At least I know who I am. I know what I feel and I know why.
At least I can move on.
At least I can grow stronger.
Yes I am deeply hurt. Yes I feel deeply insecure. Yes I deeply need people to love me. Yes I deeply feel lost sometimes.
But when everything collapses around me, I am able to go inside of myself and stay there until I feel strong enough to face it.
You can judge me. You can ignore me. You can abandon me.
But you will never never ever know what it is like to be me. You will never never ever know what the fuck I’ve been through.
You can stay more impassive than me but if you think that’s a victory your case is getting even worse.
I am hurt, I am fucking hurt, but there is one thing you should know. Whatever hurts me, I know that at some point, I will grow stronger than it and overcome it. I know that at some point I will leave it behind and will never come back to it. Sometimes I am fighting against myself for something I don’t want to give up on, but in the end, my survival instinct takes over. Because my emotions are that strong that they determine my life. You could experience the same if only you opened yourself to them, if only you opened yourself to your TRUE self. And just knowing that your life is not as full of that as mine, it is enough for me to leave you behind and not looking back. That’s the way you are, and the way you decide to be everyday. I can’t make it change. Only you can. I’m sorry. Goodbye.